Confession: I buy things that are supposedly going to help me turn into a better version of myself. Honestly, I was just sitting at my desk looking at the three planners I have for 2011 so far, and I had the thought, “I need a new planner so I can really plan stuff.” Seriously, that’s what ran through my head. If I don’t plan stuff now, what makes me think I’m going to plan stuff just because I buy a new planner? I have hundreds of blank journals at home because I get halfway through one and then refuse to pick back up after I’ve taken some time off. I buy a new one and think that the new journal will magically transform me into a disciplined journal writer.
I do this with new clothes as well. One new shirt is going to turn me into a fashion icon. Yeah right. I can see you all rolling your eyes. And haircuts. I am always incredibly disappointed after new haircuts. It’s like I somehow think they’re going to make me thinner. If only, right?
People often talk about using the right tools or having the right accessories. But for me, sometimes, the accessories are just an excuse. Something I’m waiting for to do the hard work of personal transformation for me. Isn’t that what all this stuff is? An excuse. All this material crap has to be hauled around to apartment after apartment and country after country. Couldn’t I just go ahead and put in the hours of self-discipline and get rid of all the stuff?
I’m not buying anything new that will inevitably not turn me into a brand new shiny version of myself that is so close to perfection it will never exist. I’m just going to start using what I have and doing what I can to be who I need to be.
I have three planners. Surely one of them could work!