What the crap? Yeah, so it's not Wednesday, but what the crap anyway. Use your brain sometimes. G-Dragon has dyed his hair blonde. It looks terrible. Puh-lease! His name is G-Dragon for crying out loud. Try to say that all sexily and like you're about to kiss him or something. Oh, G-Dragon, I love you. Nope. Doesn't work. Reminiscent of When Harry Met Sally's Harry saying, "Sheldon? You had great sex with Sheldon? No, I don't think so. Ride me big...Sheldon?" Negative on the Sheldon and the G-Dragon. During his Heartbreaker video, he reminds you of a woman most of the time. At the end, you thought maybe he had on a bra underneath his lacy jacket.
BUT, on the other hand Self, you did see him on a late night documentary about popular music and what makes it work and tick and why everybody loves it. And he seemed like a normal person with strangely attractive hands that moved a lot while he talked about how everything he presents to the public is basically programmed and planned from A to Z. And perhaps you were wrong to think that your amazing husband, who in your eyes, IS hotter than Rain(λΉ„), would make it impossible for you to ever fully indulge in another Johnny Depp Movie, well because you have your own personal Johnny Depp, who is every bit as much of a Don Juan as Don Juan in Don Juan. Because when you got married, you didn't scratch your eyes out, did you? And as we all know, Koreans have a certain sexy factor when it comes to you.
Honestly, G-Dragon though? You're finding yourself attracted to G-Dragon? Of all the Korean celebrities out there walking around without wearing form-fitting pants and sighing like women, you picked him? Really, you ought to be ashamed of yourSelf. But there's something to it, isn't there? Because he's popular. And he knows how to make dat money honey. And if someone who had reeled in billions of won on my image last year tells me to dye my hair blonde and kick up the feminine act a bit, I'd do it.
Although I don't really go for the music. Because apparently it sounds just like a bunch of other stuff. I go for the G-Dragon. There. I said it. Oh Self, stop being such a snob. If you like him, you like him. You're weird. And you're obviously sleep-deprived and all that. But still, just suck it up and like who you like. And don't be sorry about it. Because that makes you a wussy. And it's worse to be a sniveling wussy with no taste than a ChubbO with weird, but decisive taste.
But really. Get yourself together.
I'll be praying for you.
Love,
YourSelf.
