Our Wedding (Part III: The Vows)

We wrote our own vows. We shared these vows with each other as we wrote them and decided that these were the promises we wanted to make to one another in front of our family and friends. These are the vows you too, as part of our community,  are asked to hold us accountable to. 
As your husband, I promise to respect you as the daughter of God, and to never forget that you are the beloved one, the most valuable being to Him. 
I will listen to you carefully, to hear what you say even in your silence.
I will be your extra hand to scratch your back exactly where it itches.
I will be the most comfortable, approachable shoulder when you want to cry.
I will pray with you so that we can always move together in the same direction, wherever God leads us.
I will not let our love be confined to emotion, but will work to love you in action.
I will love you with abandon and without boundaries.

As your wife, I promise to follow you wherever you go, to support you, to shoulder your burdens, and to share your joys.
I promise to listen carefully and to communicate fully. I will use my words to heal you and not to hurt you.
I promise to cherish your capacity for wonder and your ability to remain open to what the world has for us. 
I promise to relax in the easy times, to push forward diligently in the hard times, and to exercise love at all times.
I will not let our love be confined to emotion, but will work to love you in action.
I will love you with abandon and without boundaries. 

We also washed each other's feet during the ceremony. It was one of my favorite parts. We had recorded our voices over a lovely song by Over the Rhine called I Want You to be My Love. It was important to me to discuss before our marriage why we were choosing this path. Why we were taking these steps to commit our lives to each other. So many people can't remember why they married their spouse. But when tough times come, we will have something to look back on, some kind of foundation to rely on to get us through and to remind us of the reasons we love each other. Below are the words that were heard as we washed our dirty feet and began our marriage in service to each other. 

I marrying you because I love you. I'm marrying you because your relentless support and love has built a way in which I can walk out into the world, freely feeling the happiness of being loved. I'm marrying you because I have never had that before. I'm certain that I will never grow tired of loving you back because you know how to receive my love. I'm marrying you because I want to protect you with my life and keep you safe. You are the perfect companion for my dreams, for what I want to achieve in my life. I need you. I'm marrying you because I'm so ready to love you more.
I'm washing your feet because when I promise to love you for my whole life, it isn't just for the pleasant, easy parts. I'm washing your feet because I promise to hold you even when things are dirty or ugly or painful. I'm washing your feet because I want to grow as a sincere Christian with you, to practice the true love that Jesus has taught us. I'm washing your feet because the generosity of your love makes service feel an honor.

I'm marrying you because you make the good things in my life even better, and the bad things bearable. I am saying yes to life with a partner who listens to me and wants the best for me. I'm marrying you because when I'm with you, wherever in the world that is, I'm home. I'm marrying you because your unconditional love has shaped me into a more compassionate, open, and understanding person. I'm marrying you because we laugh so hard. I'm marrying you because you affirm the spirit within me and appreciate the details of who I am. 
I"m washing your feet because you have taught me the beauty and simplicity of a servant's heart. I wash your feet recognizing the joyful and painful times you have walked through, the experiences that have brought you to me. I wash your feet in submission, demonstrating my willingness to follow these beautiful feet and to make their path easy and broad. I'm washing your feet because Jesus expressed his love for his best friends in this same manner, showing us how to care for each other in the small chores of life. I am washing your feet in preparation for our new walk as husband and wife through this world. I am washing your feet because I love you. 


  1. Oh my gosh I cried through reading this entire thing!! I love your love!!! Congrats, Danielle!!! ~Lindsay Byers

  2. So beautiful. Weird request, but you wouldn't happen to have your vows in Korean postable, would you? I think it would be really pretty to read...

  3. I am totally bawling right now! One of my best girlfriends is getting married today so I might be a little more sensitive than usual, but the spirit of your words and the beautiful ceremony just touched my heart.

  4. I second all the above comments! Congrats and thank you for sharing something so precious with strangers like me. I pray you two will be blessed in all that you do and continue to be a blessing to others. I truly feel blessed knowing that there are people out there who also still believe in love like that. The black and white photo was especially lovely. I don't know you and you don't know me, but you two have put a smile on face and hope in my heart! Stay blessed!

  5. Wow. I love that you washed each other's feet. Such a beautiful way to show your submission to each other. May God bless your marriage always.


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