Super Duper Vibrations

Last night Kenny and I went to the gym for the first time in months. We had frozen our accounts with about a month and a half left on them because neither of us had the time to go. So we reopened them this week and last night, people, I KILLED IT.

I rode the bike for 20 minutes to start with. I had a killer playlist. Bohemian Rhapsody took me over a few hills; Kanye West helped me keep up a decent pace; Bruce Springsteen made my thighs burn; and a little Mamma Mia soundtrack helped me cool it down just to list a few. I was sweating and trying not to look at all the Korean girls walking nonchalantly on treadmills and stretching their thin limbs in the mirrors.

Then, I hit the weights. My dress requires stunning shoulders and I have banned back chub completely, so I did a load of different free weights and alternated with weight machines. I tried to work every opposite muscle (so like, if I did my sets of triceps, next I did my biceps) and I did 3 sets of 8 to 10 reps. And I was already sore when I stopped to drink some water out of the little entirely unsatisfying paper bags (I should take a picture). Then I went to hang upside down (does wonders for your back when you lay on a bench and hook a bar over your feet and then it goes horizontal as you push a button and you can flip almost completely and utterly upside down). After that, I stretched and I could already feel my arms tightening up. So, I took a chance and got on this machine.

Yes, I got on the fat jiggling machine. And it does jiggle your fat. Without a doubt. But I'll tell you what else this bad boy does: it shakes all the soreness out of your muscles and prepares you for the next day's workout. I have never bypassed the "next day soreness" before. But seriously, today, my right tricep aches a little right over my elbow, and of course I'm hyper-aware of all the muscles in my upper body today, but seriously, I'm good. For my arms, I used this position.


Now, Asian people generally seem to believe that if you shake your fat, it will go away. I see the ajummas walking down by the river holding their arms out in front of them and shaking those wings with abandon. I had a Chinese flatmate in Exeter who kept me awake at 3 in the morning with some kind of clapping noise. I was so angry, but more than that curious. I knocked on her door and it turned out she had just taken a shower and was slapping her fat. Slapping her fat. She couldn't believe that I didn't slap my fat. And Kenny keeps feeling my belly and my arms saying, "It's getting mushy! When your fat gets mushy it means you're losing it!" I seriously don't feel any mushier to myself, but maybe he's more of an expert on the mushy scale. I doubt you have one of these at your gym. Unless you live in Korea. Where we also still have these:

So if you can find a machine to jiggle your fat with super fast vibrations, I suggest it as a post workout insurance against the next-day soreness! Hope everyone is having a good workout week. I'm off to the gym...