Right Now

At this moment, I'm cross-legged on the couch, already mourning the fact that I can't get into a position where my legs don't tingle. Especially in my ankles. Isn't that strange? It's so strange, in fact, that it kept me up most of the night last night. And I have a sneaking premonition that it will do so tonight as well because I'm not even ready for bed and the twitching, tingly feeling has begun.

At this moment, I am listening to THE BEST CHRISTMAS ALBUM EVER. It's by Sufjan Stevens and it contains 42 songs. And Jude loves Christmas music. He always gets really busy dancing whenever I listen to any kind of Christmas song.

At this moment, I am wondering what it would be like to finally live up to my own expectations. What would that feel like?

At this moment, I'm crunching a cup full of ice like a champ.

At this moment, I'm missing my family and the Christmas season at home. I know this month will be so much easier if I just put all my effort into making it Christmas here instead of wishing I were elsewhere. We had planned at the beginning of this year that we would travel to the States again for Christmas this year because my sister just had a baby girl, Epperley, and we planned to meet her then. But those plans were pushed back a year when I learned I was pregnant and then wasn't able to get a job after that. So hugely pregnant + no money = Christmas 2012 in Tennessee with all the babies!

And right now, I can't believe it's already December. Only a few more months until our son arrives. It still feels so strange to even say that. I'm going to have a son. Wow. I'm just going to sit and crunch my ice in awe of how fast and how slow time goes all at once.

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