Surprisingly Pain-Free

So, I geared up this morning for a day full of agony. I (or my personal assistant, a.k.a. my mother) had booked 3 different doctor's appointments for me on this dreary and rainy Tuesday. But before we could get to any of them, we had to go pick up my Granny's cat and take her to the vet to get fixed. Woot. So, my Granny's cat is a tortie, and she has a bit of an attitude. She's not real friendly. I figured after we picked her up, she'd meow me to death all the way to the vet. However, she didn't! She cried a few times, letting us know she wasn't very happy with the situation and then she just shut up! Incredible, eh? First nice surprise of the day. After dropping the sassy tortie off, it was time for breakfast. I had the Chickin Minis at Chik-fil-A and they were A plus plus plus delicious.

Then it was time to head to the eye doctor to get a new prescription and new frames. I dread the eye doctor because they puff that air in your eyes and every time I jerk my head and so they have to do it OVER and OVER and I keep moving. No matter how much I resolve to sit still and not to blink, I blink. But today, they only had to do my left eye ONCE! My right eye had to be done three times, but heck, I mean, that was four less than normal! And I got some awesome frames. So new glasses pictures forthcoming!

Then I had to head to the 10th circle of hell, also known as the gynecologist. I won't bore you (or disgust you) with the details, but it was just a check-up since I'm leaving the country. So, I was really nervous for a couple reasons. #1 I haven't shaved my legs in months. #2 It is extremely uncomfortable. #3 I didn't get an appointment with my regular doctor, but the nurse practitioner instead. But hello, another welcome surprise! The N.P. was FABULOUS. She was much quicker and she didn't hurt me hardly at all. She was kind and understanding about my European grooming habits (which despite all evidence to the contrary really are only temporary) and she asked me lots of questions to keep my mind on other things while she did her job.

To add to my uncomfortable feelings, my mother was nagging me all day to tell her I'd like my thyroid checked. I told her maybe there was something wrong (because I exercised with a personal trainer and changed my diet for an entire month and lost a grand total of 1 pound. This does not bode well) and she said, "Oh, that's no problem. We'll do that on your way out." So she sent me to the Lab. I alerted the Lab technician of my habit of turning white as a sheet with greenish lips and almost fainting right before I almost puke every time I have my blood drawn. The tech is so kind to me and so quick. I don't even know she's done when she's done. It's fabulously surprising, and I didn't even get a little bit light-headed. I have now, after 25 years of life, conquered the drawing of the blood! Woot.

Then, I buckled down for the dentist. I do not like the dentist. The lady always pokes my gums and makes them bleed and then says if I would just floss that my gums wouldn't bleed. I want to yell at her that actually, if she didn't poke my gums they wouldn't bleed! So I go to the office and prepare for the worst. I haven't seen the dentist in over a year because of my year in England. They don't have fluoride in the water there so I was maybe expecting a little telltale cavity or two. Surprise again! I had a new dental hygienist named Lindsay and she should be given an award for not poking my gums and not nagging me about flossing. If I haven't flossed for the first 25 years of my life, I'm not starting now. She simply cleaned my teeth (relatively pain free) and then flossed VERY CAREFULLY underneath my permanent retainer on the bottom. She was great. I walked out of the dentist with a fresh, clean-feeling running around my mouth and without a guilty non-flosser's conscience. All was as it should be.

I just couldn't believe my luck. I was so blessed today. Everything that I was expecting to be unpleasant proved not to be so. I mean, the girly dr. is NEVER a treat, but it has to be done and was better than any of my previous experiences.

So, woot for more or less pain-free doctor's appointments.

(I won't go into the theory that expecting the absolute worst could end up being better for you than having a good attitude about everything. But it works for me. I always prepare myself for pain, and it when it doesn't show up or isn't as painful as I had expected I am overcome with joy and elated for the rest of the day. However, if I go into something with high expectations thinking, "This will be okay. It'll be great. It'll be short and not a big deal," I always come out growling and upset. Try being a pessimist when it comes to appointments. Let me know how it works out for you!)


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