I am beyond thrilled that it's December 1st. I love the holiday season and this year, I'm going home for Christmas! It's been a while since I spent a Christmas at home, and this will be the first time Kenny experiences Christmas American/Buckley style. There are so many things that I need to get done, that I need to accomplish, that I need to finish before we fly out on the 18th.
But instead of falling into the frenzy of the season, I'm going to attempt to mindfully reflect on what this year has been for me and what I want next year to be. That's where reverb10 comes in. If you don't know what that is, go here and check it out. I'll wait.....
2010 in one word.
Unfulfilled.
I made excuses for all my faults (after seeing just how base I could be). I look back on all my "plans" and "schedules" and I see that I succeeded at almost nothing. In August, I set a goal to vlog everyday. And I did. So, I felt a renewed sense of discipline and personal potential. But it seemed to die after that. And vlogging? It was an amazing experience and I'm thankful for the community I got to be a part of. But I didn't allow that experience to seep into any other parts of my life. I didn't carry that motivation into any other work.
I think before December is over, I'll have accomplished one other goal I've set (crafting a serious present for a special someone. Shhhh!), but that's about it. Kenny and I actually talk about this year as one we'd rather forget. Nothing terrible happened to us. Actually, it was an okay year. But nothing great happened either. And the sad thing is, it could have. It so could have. There were a million great things just waiting for me to move, to get started, to have some initiative, to get up. I've battled with a lot of self-revelation, self-loathing, and self-indulgence this year, in that order.
One word for 2011.
Full.
I want to live next year to the fullest. I want to look back at the end of the year and not be able to tally up all the things I put my mind to and accomplished. Even small things will be taken seriously. Because that's where all important things start; a germ. A seed so tiny you can't imagine anything of worth being contained within it. I want to see the fullness of possibilities. I want to be fully disciplined and fully determined to make every second of the year count. I don't want to keep looking at other people's lives and wishing mine away. I want to be full of appreciation for what I have been given, for what I am able to do. Even if 2011 finds me as lost and unmoored as 2010, I don't want it to be an excuse for not creating something out of that experience. Whatever and wherever I find myself, I want to make something out of it. Not everything has to be perfect or 100% brilliant. It just has to be earnest and attempted. That's what I want for next year. That's what I want for every year.
What about you? What's your word for 2010? 2011?
