Some Stuff Happened

I've been meaning to do this, to let you know how my holidays went, or un-went, just like I've been meaning to clean those dishes in the sink and mail the Christmas cards still sitting next to me. Hey, you took priority over the Christmas cards, so um, be thankful, rejoice, celebrate, be merry, etc. 

Christmas was "eh." And that's all I have to say about that. 

Also, I got married. 

We didn't have our ceremony, of course, which is still on February 21st. And which, if you read this blog or wear pants, you are invited to attend. But we did do all the paperwork, which in Korea, is all it takes to be legally wed. So, yes, I'm totally a wife! Not to be all Cheesy McCheesington, but my husband is awesome. I'm so happy it's gross. (And stop judging me just because I didn't shower the morning I went to tramp about from the US Embassy to the Korean Ward Office and back to the Embassy again. It was early. And things are just as important with unwashed hair and a headband. Promise, mom.) 

And New Year's, I hiked in Jirisan with the HubbO. 

It was so incredibly cold. We cut our trip short a day. Mostly because I was cold. And HubbO totally overestimated my speed and basic overall fitness. So, he was understanding and beautiful about changing our route to something I could handle. 

Do we look married, or what?

You can see Day One here and Day Two here. And why aren't you my friend on Book of the Face? (Shout out to Tariq, and Sexy David from Downstairs, and of course, most importantly, thank you Scrubs, Beardface.) 

I also had my first Korean public bath experience the day after we returned. So I started the new year with a combination of -16 Celsius, icy mountains and the heat of a lovely hot tub filled with naked, staring ajummas.  And me, the white girl. It was surprisingly relaxing and perhaps I'll give you a more detailed post on the experience, but only if you say pretty please in the comments, or care. (I hear you Rob, Oh my gosh, she's going to do the rote jim jil bang post... bor-ing.) 

Anyhow, I'm still around. And I'm a wife. Yay! (Yep, I give you permission to retch into your handy-dandy barf bag, kept for just such occasions when I go off into seemingly unwarranted marital blissfests. Well, they're warranted. Oh, man are they warranted...).

What the Crap Wednesday (The Friday Edition)

What the crap have I been up to? My absence here has caused my mother to doubt my existence, setting all sorts of horror scenarios into frenzied motion. She is worrying as only a mother can. The truth is boring.

What the Crap I've Been Up To:

1. I have spent time carefully planning my menu and schedule of eating out for the few days I'm at home. I am craving several particular things and plan on hitting all of my favorite restaurants, despite all obstacles. I am daydreaming about sweet tea, especially.

2. I am reading The Geography of Thought: How Asians and Westerners Think Differently...and Why by one Richard E. Nisbett who desperately needs to read William Zinsser's take on the exclamation mark. 

Dear Mr. Nisbett, 

I like your book. It makes the stops on the subway go by much quicker and also lends insight into the reasons why the crazies around me are behaving the way they do. But your exclamation points are ineffective and annoying. "Don't use it unless you must to achieve a certain effect...We have all suffered more than our fair share of these sentences in which an exclamation point knocks us over the head with how cute or wonderful something is. Instead, construct your sentence so that the order of the words will put the emphasis where you want it." 

Thank you very much.

3. Dexter has been eating hours of my time. I caught an episode on TV here from the first season and was compelled to view the entire season in order. It's a bit of an addiction, but one that is far less embarrassing than say, admitting you lost an entire week of your life to the Twilight series close to 2 months ago. 

4. I have been learning to cook and enjoy tofu using this tasty recipe from THE Pajeon Princess. I never liked tofu before, but apparently my tastes are still changing. I find that if I give the food a chance, take a few deep breaths before digging in, and remember the work it took to prepare it (although with this tofu dish the work is negligible), it usually tastes good. I've continued to cook for myself almost every night of the week. I now dub my attempts in the kitchen as part of WifeO Training. Lord, I have such a long way to go!

5. I am reading James Finley and I am numb to the ever recurring words, "interior, meditative states of awareness" and "arise, endure, and pass away." Finley is sometimes exhausting, but the gems I've found far outweigh those phrases heavy with repetition. 

6. I am still spending most of my day yelling and laughing at small monsters called children. A few phrases my 7 year olds have finally picked up on:

My words: "Stop picking your nose." Stated matter of factly about 6 times every 40 minutes.

Kid version: "Teacher! Teeeeeeeacher! Steve picking your nose! Picking your nose! Stop!" 

My words: "I. Don't. Care." 

Former Kid Response, "Teacher, what?"

Current Kid Response: A look of defeat, usually accompanied by a lowering and shaking of the head. 

My words: "Go away." 

Kid version: "Go awaaaaaaaaay!" screamed as they are passing through the doorway at the end of class.

7. Wasting time; going to the bathroom; bothering my fiance about quitting his job; not cleaning my bathroom; laundry; drinking caramel macchiato; drawing a large blue X across another day on the calendar before I go to bed. 

8. I spend an inordinate amount of time looking at my ring.

9. Wondering why more Americans don't look up the term socialism. Being frustrated with America's willingness to be distracted from the actual issues by emotional propaganda espoused on both sides of the political system. 

10. Missing my friends and family and counting down the days until I get on an airplane to come see them! And praying that my period does not coincide with any time spent in a cramped aircraft with inconvenient bathrooms. Praying in general. 

That about does it. Oh, and thinking about writing. Obviously I'm just thinking about it. I'm not doing it. Or you would be well aware of that, wouldn't you? Also, if I stay around constantly, I can't ever have these mini-comebacks, now can I? If you never know war, you cannot understand peace. So, if you never miss me, you cannot appreciate the ChubbO. 

Appreciate away. 

Oh yeah... I'm getting married...

It's easy for me to forget that I'm getting married in a few months. I'm not really in charge of too much. Actually, I'm not really sure who is in charge, so we'll be lucky if this thing happens at all! Kenny and I decided to have our ceremony here in Korea for a bunch of different reasons, many of which I can't remember right now. I went to a wedding yesterday, the third I've attended here in Korea, and like every other time my response was the same: "I don't want that. Not any of it." 

In Korea, weddings are not sacred ceremonies, the public witness of the bonding of two souls, and all that mushy crap. Weddings are a place to see and be seen. And to eat. When you arrive at a Korean wedding, you should have an envelope full of cash. When you give this envelope to the money-taking person, they will give you a ticket. This ticket is a food ticket and guarantees you a buffet lunch or dinner, depending on when the wedding is being held. And if you don't feel like going to the ceremony, no big deal. Just get in line for the food. I mean, you gave your money already, right? You did your part. (This is why the cost for the wedding is almost always recovered at the wedding itself. There's no registering for gifts or anything like that- people just bring you money, and lots of it.)

For those kind people who actually care or even know the bride and groom, they can watch the ceremony. I say watch because they won't be able to hear it. Yesterday Kenny's dad was officiating at this wedding and he asked the attending guests to be quiet three times, to no avail. It was so noisy that we weren't sure when it was over, and neither were the bride and groom. People let their cell phones ring, some people answered their cell phones, some people shouted into their cell phones while standing up and waving wildly at the person who couldn't find them in the crowded wedding hall. Old friends caught up, families chatted as if they were at the park, and the kids ran wild. It was chaos. And I was glad when it was over.

My dream wedding is a tiny affair in a church where no one talks during my ceremony and no one gets up to leave or to go eat. (This is, of course, a new dream. Because I didn't really have a wedding dream before a wedding was a reality. And now I want weird things that normal girls in the western world take for granted as a given!) I want my ceremony to be intimate and meaningful for me and Kenny and also for those who attend. We're going to try to make the ceremony a really serious affair so that people won't be tempted to talk or call their great-aunt and talk about the weather. There are no bridesmaids or groomsmen and there's no rehearsal (because the place where your wedding will take place is usually a wedding hall with weddings booked at all hours, so you can't rehearse there). We have to feed everyone. I'm adjusting to this whole Korean focus. In a western wedding what the bride wants is what happens. We have entire channels of TV dedicated to brides and their whims and their temper tantrums and their over-the-top dream weddings. But here, it's all about the guests. Your guests should be comfortable and should be entertained and most of all, should be well-fed, because, frankly, they paid for it. 

And to tell you the truth, I don't really think my wedding is going to be the best day of my life. And I'm not sure I'd like to bill it as such, either. It's going to be a good one, hopefully, but it's only a beginning. Kenny keeps saying we shouldn't have our best day on the first day of our marriage- what will we have to look forward to? He's so funny. But in so many ways, he's right. I didn't have a huge wedding dream, things I decided when I was seven years old I couldn't live without. And although I'm not too keen on a lot of the things that take place during a Korean wedding, what really matters is that I'm marrying this man. We're writing our own vows (God help us all, who knows what's going to come of that!) and we're also washing each other's feet before we exchange rings and say "I do." I love the idea of starting our marriage off by serving each other in that way. So we're still having the wedding that we want, in small ways. I'm dancing up the aisle to a Tom Petty song (the chorus of "Here Comes My Girl") and I'm not wearing shoes. (Although what I will be wearing is still up in the air.) Kenny claims that his only demand is that he be allowed to wear a bow tie. Anyway, I guess I might want to start thinking about a few things. Like booking my parents' flight tickets.... or worrying about a wedding dress.... or... no, that's about it. I guess it's not real to me yet. And I'm still just thinking it's really cool I'm getting married 3 months after my sister does. Isn't it cool how things work out? 

Okay, February 21st, here I come. Relatively calm and worry-free. 

But I swear if some ajumma starts running her yap during my service, I'm gonna whip around and offend an entire people group! Lord help us all...

The One You've Been Waiting For

Boy and Girl lie on the roof, watch the wind sweep the clouds into a canopy of art. They listen to music. They read good books. They sip a coffee milkshake. They talk about traveling, together. Boy looks at girl. Boy says, "Will you marry me?" Girl says, "........ Yes, yes, yes, yes, are you serious? yes, yes, yes." Boy and Girl lie on the roof, watch the wind sweep the clouds into a canopy of art. They listen to music. They read good books. They talk about traveling. They will continue to do all of these things. Together.